I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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