Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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