Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
