I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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