return my video game
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
