she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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