literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
