Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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