Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
