Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
