You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Text me some of your sweat
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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