I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize