I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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