Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My friends, they love my intelligence
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They took my balls.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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