I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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