Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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