Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
