Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
