So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
