It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
