Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize