you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
