Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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