No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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