i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
