I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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