He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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