The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
