We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm always down for nudity.
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