it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
