omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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