it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
