I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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