another moral hangover. fuck.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
