Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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