Its about making memories worth repressing
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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