i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
