there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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