They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
