i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
