do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
