is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
