My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
