My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize