I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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