She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm determined to sit on that face.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
