Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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