I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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