clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
