It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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