Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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