it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize