just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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