she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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