The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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