I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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