i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
