At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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