If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
