I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
